Before you mistake this for another sexist diatribe against the female sex by a testosterone charged male, let me clarify its no such thing. To the contrary I want talk about how society is oblivious to what women want. News channels these days are filled with “human interest stories” of sex crimes, rapes, assault, domestic violence, etc. on women and children all over India. It is as if there is a sudden epidemic of perversion and sexual frustration by men India-wide. I see a lot of people on these TV channels and outside say this is due to western influence –their clothes, relationship concepts and habits. It is as if sexual crimes never existed in India before. Well what the TV channels are gladly ignoring in their project to create this “breaking news” phenomenon is that these crimes are not new events in Independent India. The perverts,the sadists, the paedophiles were always there but we as a society never acknowledged them. We protected them among lies, cover-ups and false family honour. Every time we see some new report on a ghastly crime, we as a part of society give an appalled shocked expression, shrug it off and move on believing such things are rare events in civilized society. The real fact of the matter is the problem lies in the mindsets of society as a whole. The sad part is the crimes are not as surprising as the comments by leading political figures and officials in law enforcing agencies. These politicians and the police are supposed to be representatives of our country’s people and if they think thus by projection the country also thinks like that.What do they say?
“The woman who got raped was wearing a mini skirt, was an alcoholic and a prostitute. She tempted that rapist to rape her. She had it coming”
“ The man’s affection for the child has been misconstrued as child sexual abuse. There are no paedophiles in India. It is a western phenomenon”
“ Women should know how to dress decently in order not to get raped”
“ Women should not work in offices after dark so that they will not tempt rapists at night”
“ The western influences are ruining the culture of our country. Women should not dress in western clothes, should not drink, not use mobile phones and internet, not have male friends,……(list goes on)”
If these statements shock you then you really haven’t been reading the news lately. There are many more such banal statements being given on a daily basis.I don’t know who was asking for their explanations but nevertheless they did provide their distorted logic for public consumption. What is unfortunate is that these statements are coming from not just religious fundamentalists,policemen and politicians but from some members of the National Commission for Women. If people appointed to safeguard interests of women (who are women themselves) think like this then really women in our country have no hope. I think the actual rape has happened in the brains of these commenting people.
The ploy to put the blame of rape squarely on how women behave is an old one. They will tell you men don’t have any control over their sexual craving and its only natural that they will rape someone who will sexually arouse them. They believe that the onus is on women to avoid rape. It’s like saying that any man can become a rapist if present in the given circumstances which commonsense should tell us is not the case. Chivalry and gentlemen have not died in this world and not all men are rapists if it even needed to be said. The rapist will rape anyone without regard to looks,clothes,behaviour, age and sometimes even gender. Instead of acknowledging this problem these people will try to put morality and culture into the equation. Aside from the fact that I don’t think two hoots about the culture of our country (much less ruining it), there is no credence to the belief that it is somehow ok to rape a sex worker or a lady who drinks or a woman who wears revealing clothes. It is behind this belief that rapists, sadists and paedophiles in our country find shelter in. If society acknowledges that the crime is committed in the minds of rapists rather than due to situational happenings, only then something can be done to curb these crimes.
Women in our country should be free to wear the clothes of their choice, work in professions they want to, go to any place at any time,to eat and drink whatever is legally allowed to all citizens AND STILL NOT GET RAPED. That should be the societal standard and not primitive ideas of these dinosaurs called politicians and policemen who are probably living in a cave.
The idea that women are respected in our country is a myth. Except in certain pockets where women find a pride of place, in most places in India everyday we see women being insulted, abused and exploited. The IT boom and corporate culture has improved the stock of women in our country. We find that more girls are getting educated and making a living for themselves than the previous generations did. But societal prejudices still remain and the behind those signs of progress among women hides an ugly truth. A truth nobody is willing to acknowledge : “Society still considers women as inferior to men.” These men and women( the voices of society) who give statement after statement believe that its always the woman’s fault (even some in the NCW think so).Unless this mindset is not corrected no law will control these savages committing crimes.
The media which is supposed to be the progressive voice of our country is as regressive as can be. Recently we saw footages from a Guwahati based news channel showing images of about 20 men molesting and stripping a 17yr old girl. This episode teaches us two things. ONE: People who would seem normal are the people capable of such serious crimes. There are no signs to separate these savages from society as a whole. TWO: There are no ethics and sensitivity left in the media. While seeing the video we are also listening to the cameraman actually encouraging the molesters to go further in their ghastly crime despite futile pleas by the girl to leave her alone. The reporter of that news channel even has the gall to interview the molested victim and ask her personal details immediately after the incident. Then they broadcast it live all over India and say they actually helped identify the culprits while actually they were just creating a TRP raising story. They did not even try to help the poor girl. This is how depraved our media is. Its not just one news channel, every news channel in India broadcast it without any shame. The identity of that girl was flashed like a sign of victory thus destroying the last shreds of humanity. The govt. did one better (rather worse), they sent some elite high brow delhi socialite women who claimed to be from the NCW who conducted press conferences along with the victim. Even a molestation is treated as platform for politicians. What law will these politicians bring in when they themselves behave worse than those molesters.
This is not to say some good work is not going on. The child abuse bill and domestic violence act are some examples of good legislation. But unless the powers that be change their prejudicial stand point no law can be enforced to actually decrease such crimes.
feel free to read what western media thinks about the rapes in India:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/10/26/rape_in_india_a_sexual_assault_spree_in_haryana_brings_out_the_crazy_in.html
“The woman who got raped was wearing a mini skirt, was an alcoholic and a prostitute. She tempted that rapist to rape her. She had it coming”
“ The man’s affection for the child has been misconstrued as child sexual abuse. There are no paedophiles in India. It is a western phenomenon”
“ Women should know how to dress decently in order not to get raped”
“ Women should not work in offices after dark so that they will not tempt rapists at night”
“ The western influences are ruining the culture of our country. Women should not dress in western clothes, should not drink, not use mobile phones and internet, not have male friends,……(list goes on)”
If these statements shock you then you really haven’t been reading the news lately. There are many more such banal statements being given on a daily basis.I don’t know who was asking for their explanations but nevertheless they did provide their distorted logic for public consumption. What is unfortunate is that these statements are coming from not just religious fundamentalists,policemen and politicians but from some members of the National Commission for Women. If people appointed to safeguard interests of women (who are women themselves) think like this then really women in our country have no hope. I think the actual rape has happened in the brains of these commenting people.
The ploy to put the blame of rape squarely on how women behave is an old one. They will tell you men don’t have any control over their sexual craving and its only natural that they will rape someone who will sexually arouse them. They believe that the onus is on women to avoid rape. It’s like saying that any man can become a rapist if present in the given circumstances which commonsense should tell us is not the case. Chivalry and gentlemen have not died in this world and not all men are rapists if it even needed to be said. The rapist will rape anyone without regard to looks,clothes,behaviour, age and sometimes even gender. Instead of acknowledging this problem these people will try to put morality and culture into the equation. Aside from the fact that I don’t think two hoots about the culture of our country (much less ruining it), there is no credence to the belief that it is somehow ok to rape a sex worker or a lady who drinks or a woman who wears revealing clothes. It is behind this belief that rapists, sadists and paedophiles in our country find shelter in. If society acknowledges that the crime is committed in the minds of rapists rather than due to situational happenings, only then something can be done to curb these crimes.
Women in our country should be free to wear the clothes of their choice, work in professions they want to, go to any place at any time,to eat and drink whatever is legally allowed to all citizens AND STILL NOT GET RAPED. That should be the societal standard and not primitive ideas of these dinosaurs called politicians and policemen who are probably living in a cave.
The idea that women are respected in our country is a myth. Except in certain pockets where women find a pride of place, in most places in India everyday we see women being insulted, abused and exploited. The IT boom and corporate culture has improved the stock of women in our country. We find that more girls are getting educated and making a living for themselves than the previous generations did. But societal prejudices still remain and the behind those signs of progress among women hides an ugly truth. A truth nobody is willing to acknowledge : “Society still considers women as inferior to men.” These men and women( the voices of society) who give statement after statement believe that its always the woman’s fault (even some in the NCW think so).Unless this mindset is not corrected no law will control these savages committing crimes.
The media which is supposed to be the progressive voice of our country is as regressive as can be. Recently we saw footages from a Guwahati based news channel showing images of about 20 men molesting and stripping a 17yr old girl. This episode teaches us two things. ONE: People who would seem normal are the people capable of such serious crimes. There are no signs to separate these savages from society as a whole. TWO: There are no ethics and sensitivity left in the media. While seeing the video we are also listening to the cameraman actually encouraging the molesters to go further in their ghastly crime despite futile pleas by the girl to leave her alone. The reporter of that news channel even has the gall to interview the molested victim and ask her personal details immediately after the incident. Then they broadcast it live all over India and say they actually helped identify the culprits while actually they were just creating a TRP raising story. They did not even try to help the poor girl. This is how depraved our media is. Its not just one news channel, every news channel in India broadcast it without any shame. The identity of that girl was flashed like a sign of victory thus destroying the last shreds of humanity. The govt. did one better (rather worse), they sent some elite high brow delhi socialite women who claimed to be from the NCW who conducted press conferences along with the victim. Even a molestation is treated as platform for politicians. What law will these politicians bring in when they themselves behave worse than those molesters.
This is not to say some good work is not going on. The child abuse bill and domestic violence act are some examples of good legislation. But unless the powers that be change their prejudicial stand point no law can be enforced to actually decrease such crimes.
feel free to read what western media thinks about the rapes in India:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/10/26/rape_in_india_a_sexual_assault_spree_in_haryana_brings_out_the_crazy_in.html
Raghuraj, I appreciate your concern, but we need to now focus on solutions which can be implemented. The people of India as a whole are reluctant to change - history has shown us this, so it up to individual citizens to wage war. A judge for example has to say enough is enough , and work tirelessly to instill fear in rapists. Same for a policeman. Long-term solution is change in the culture which breeds rapists - our schools teach complex mathematics, but do they run at least weekly classes in which respect for women is explained? India is a sexually repressed country and regardless of what analysts say about rape being a power crime rather a frustration one, a frank and less inhibited attitude to sex will have to be repeatedly promoted by government. Economic growth, I believe , will also weaken the social precepts that provoke rape. We have to gun for these solutions now.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I totally agree with what you say but like everything else in India....implementation of ideas and solutions gets lost after a while.
DeleteMy heart goes out to the women in India and elsewhere. I am an American woman. For decades many women in America were shamed or blamed because they were raped. They were victimized by society for what they wore, how late they were out at night, where they worked, etc. Rape is sexual but it is mostly a crime of violence. Most men can and do control their sexual urges without resorting to rape. I know for teenage boys that are hyper sexual this can be challenging. And all people in the world need to work towards educating young boys on these challenges to prevent them from raping young girls. The young girls need to be educated too so they understand how kissing and touching boys can lead some boys to lose control or assume they "want it."
ReplyDeleteYour article is profound and I support and agree with every word. It will take men like you standing up and saying enough is enough to get change to occur in your country. In the USA we are still a work in progress but change doesn't happen overnight. Keep working on holding those responsible accountable!